Solitude Staycation

When was the last time you’ve experienced sacred solitude for 24 hours?

I’m talking no real agenda. No task list. Just focused, undistracted time to embrace silence and solitude. If you’re a mom, chances are it’s been a while. Most likely it was some time before your children were born. You love your family, and also realize that some extended time of quiet by yourself could do wonders to clear your mind and restore your soul. That’s exactly where I was at, and recently after taking a solitude staycation, I decided to write a post to help provide inspiration for other women and mothers to invest in this time of sacred solitude.

My Journey with Solitude

In 2020 during quarantine, I as many of us did, faced the crossroad between isolation and solitude. It all came into focus while I was walking through COVID and missing the embrace of my husband and children. I wanted to find a way to make the most of the time and not waste it. One day, I came across a sermon on the power of solitude by DawnChere Wilkerson that really helped to shift my perspective about the value of prioritizing intentional time alone (both routinely during your week and for an extended time) to pray and receive clarity and focus.

In his best-selling book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero says this:

“Dallas Willard called silence and solitude the two most radical disciplines of the Christian life. Solitude is the practice of being absent from people and things to attend to God. Silence is the practice of quieting every inner and outer voice to attend to God.” (page 148)

As a mom, I have quiet time in prayer and alone time after the kids have gone to bed, but solitude was something more intentional and sacred I wanted to build a better habit in doing.

At the beginning of this summer, I started feeling drawn to take some extended time in solitude. I envisioned an overnight stay at a hotel in the city, with time to pause from my normal routine and listen intently to what God wants to say over my life.

I posted a questionnaire on my Instastory and to my surprise, I wasn’t the only one who wished to take a solitude trip but hadn’t done it yet. After speaking with a friend who’s done several solitude trips locally and out of state, she encouraged me to start local. I began looking into some places around town, and decided on a hotel that has beautiful, historic architecture and great brunch. Once my birthday month came around, I knew this would be a great time to go for it! I coined the phrase “solitude staycation” and named this time according to what was on my heart to do.

What is a Solitude Staycation?

A solitude staycation is a time to get away, unplug and embrace the silence of solitude in order to listen to what God has to say. It’s a time to reflect, be refreshed, and be restored. For me, a solitude staycation isn’t about catching up on your favorite shows or movies. (Confession: I tried to watch one of my favorite shows on Magnolia Network but it just didn’t feel appropriate. I needed media silenced just for this 24hr period.) A solitude staycation is about allowing your mind and heart to be clear from external voices and distractions so you can allow the abundance of your heart to come to the surface and faced with the Lord in prayer.

My Experience + Takeaways

The purpose of today’s post is to give you inspiration to embrace solitude and create plans to experience your very own solitude staycation. I’ve included a sample itinerary, Spotify playlist, hotel app to make your process smooth, and some great solitude teaching resources. After reading this post, I hope that you’ll give it a try as well!

My Solitude Staycation Schedule:

8:00am - Started at the gym (went to the sauna…nothing strenuous)

9:00am - Took time to journal and enjoy an iced oat milk pistachio latte at a local coffee shop

10:00am - Spa treatment (Ladies, if you’re in Tulsa, I highly recommend Tulsa Poppi for a massage and lounge pass to experience the color pod and salt room. This was gifted to me by a friend for my birthday, and was a highlight of my day!)

12:00pm - Healthy Lunch & Reading Time at Inheritance Juicery (I opted for a healthy, pure food lunch to fuel my day)

1:15pm - Pedicure (In hindsight, I would have waited on the pedicure for another day to have extended time at lunch to read and rest.)

3:00pm - Check in at The Hotel

I packed light, including lounge clothes, a few books on emotional health and soul care, and of course my bible and notepad. I ended up not reading the books much, and spent more time just listening to the quiet and waiting to hear God speak. I had a few questions that I wrote down and was seeking direction from the Lord on, and took some time to be prayerful in that direction of listening.

6:00pm - Dinner time!

Instead of room service, I opted to order takeout from one of my favorite meals downtown, La Tertulia’s rainbow trout. It’s so good, y’all. The chimichurri and new potatoes…the sopapillas as a side. Sooo good.

It’s not everyday that mama eats dinner in bed, so that was fun! (After eating, I did take my food container to the trash nearby so my room wouldn’t smell like fish and kill the vibe. Haha)

7:00pm -10:00pm - Evening Hours

I brought a face mask to enjoy a DIY facial, and just enjoyed time to rest and listen to my new favorite album, In Full Bloom by Sharyn!

I tried to pull up a show on my iPad from Magnolia network, but after one episode I realized that wasn’t what I needed. So I did some note taking and journaling before going to sleep.

Next Day - Morning Hours

The sunset was so beautiful cascading over the church nearby that I watched through my window. More time to rest and chill and read the Word.

8:30am - Brunch! The hotel I stayed at had a fantastic brunch that my family and I have enjoyed frequenting for years now. As you can see, it didn’t disappoint!

9:30am Exploring the hotel and enjoying time alone with my husband

1:00pm - Checkout!

Tips for planning your Solitude Staycation

Where to stay - Hotel Tips

When it comes to selecting a hotel, do your best to be intentional about selecting the detail of where your room will be located. This was important to me because I wanted to experience ample natural light and be somewhere quiet. I used the Hilton Honors app to check in online, select the best corner room option that was exactly what I’d seen online, and get a digital key for my door. I also called the front desk to make sure I was getting the best view from my room once I got down to two options. That being said, I recommend to call ahead and ask for a room that will have the best view and natural window light that doesn’t face a parking garage or anything.

Also! If you can, request a late checkout and breakfast included. This was a huge blessing to extend my time and not feel rushed in the morning, and my husband was able to meet me at the hotel for brunch and a day date!

What to do

I can almost hear you asking, “Okay, but like, what do you actually do?” Here’s what I'd advise, don’t schedule yourself too much. Take some time to enjoy your favorite things like coffee or a mani/pedi and then once you get to the hotel, plan to really rest and embrace the quiet.

Pray + Listen

Silence the noise of social media and screen time and just sit for a little while. That may seem uncomfortable at first, but it’s important to give your mind time to reset without competing voices. Get comfortable, rest in bed, take a shower, whatever makes you feel refreshed. And then bring out your bible and notepad or a book and listen with an expectation to hear from God.

Rest

As in, lay in the bed. Take a nap. (Novel, I know!) SLEEP! Relieve yourself from the pressure of having to do anything and just be.

What to Listen To: A Spotify Playlist

I curated this playlist based on music that I listened to while I was at the hotel, as well as songs that I have enjoyed in solitude at home recently. (Can I just say that our girl Sharyn from the UK is my new fav?! I absolutely love her sound and vibe mixed with lyrics that celebrate Jesus and a passion for Him. I’m so grateful I came across her single on iTunes. And Taya’s self titled album? Don’t even get me started. Getaway? All Eyes on You?! I can’t even. So many tears. I’m so grateful for music that draws towards peace in His presence.

As you curate your own playlist, think of songs that evoke stillness, alignment with Jesus, peace and reflection on who He is. I’d recommend a mix of worship and LoFi, just to get some space to have your own words come to mind as the music plays.

Solitude Resources:

I understand that not everyone can plan for a 24 hour solitude staycation at this time, and so I wanted to present some resource to enhance your daily times of solitude in whatever capacity you can experience at this time.

ONE MINUTE Pause App

This app by John Eldredge has been a daily resource that I often recommend to help build a routine of prayer, pause and release of your day. The 30 Days to Resilience plan is a great place to start.

Sermon resources

The Power of Solitude by DawnChere Wilkerson

The power of solitude by Charles Stanley (audio)

Cultivating Sacred Solitude podcast episode by John and Lisa Bevere

If you’ve made it this far, giiiiirl you’re a rider. Thanks for hanging with me and reading all these details. I took the time to really beef this post up in hopes that this blog post is a source of encouragement and inspiration to experience your very own solitude staycation.

If you have any questions, or tips to add, let me know in the comments and I’d love to continue the conversation.

Cheering you on, mama. I believe in you, young lady.

Emonne Markland

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Grace

{Grace: unmerited favor; blessing.}

This morning, I woke up to a delicate kiss from sweet little lips & a soft "mmmmmmwahhh." That's my Grace. The first moment I saw her I was captivated. She was honestly the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. It's a joy to watch her grow and freely express herself without a care in the world. Everywhere we go she makes a friend, gives a hug and tries to share something with others. She has brought so much joy to our family and I'm so thankful for the one, the only, Amazing Grace.

So, what are you thankful for tonight? Leave a comment of thanksgiving below!

Emonne Markland Leave Your Beauty Mark

Be Still

  Today, as I took some time to quiet myself before God, I asked Him to search my heart and show me what I need to do and where to improve. As I read though the scriptures and sat in reflection, I heard my Father speak two simple words to my heart: Be still. I then saw a vision of a situation that I have faced numerous times over the last few weeks: me trying to clean my daughter's nose. I know this may sound strange, but if you're a mom you've experienced the struggle of trying to clean out your child's nose with a nasal aspirator. Not fun at all. My daughter screams, kicks, whips her hair back and forth and basically freaks out. Over and over again, I look her in the eyes and calmly tell her, "Grace, be still." Frantically, she disregards my instruction for a few more minutes and finally stays still long enough for me to help her by cleaning out her nose. You see, she'd been sick for about two weeks or so and as her mother, I knew that she couldn't blow her nose on her own & needed a clear nasal passage to help her breathe better and get well. I didn't want to take much of her time, but the more that she resisted me, the longer it took for me to help her.

Friends, God wants to help us. He wants to heal our hearts. He wants to bless us. He wants us to breathe easy. But the more that we resist Him, and the temporary discomfort of the process, the longer it will take for us to get well. Be still. Relax. Allow Him to do what He needs to do. Trust that He has your best interest at heart and doesn't mean you any harm. I know the situation that you're facing is very uncomfortable, but it's being used for your benefit. Let go. Be still. Take a chill pill, if you will. ;)

I believe that God showed me this scenario to reveal to me my own situation but I feel that this is for you too. I was watching the First Conference live from Gateway Church on Daystar tonight and the associate pastor gave the same word: Be Still. It was a confirmation to my heart and I know that God is speaking to you and me in this moment with this word.

"Be still, and know that I am God..."(Psalm 46:10 NKJV)

Emonne Markland Leave YOUR Beauty Mark

Divine Inconvenience

This morning, I was getting my husband a breakfast burrito and smoothie from the grocery store and at the checkout I realized that I didn't have my debit card in my hand or pocket. I searched frantically as the 5 million people in line behind me that were probably in a rush to get to work on time waited patiently for this young mom to find her money to pay for her order. I couldn't find the card anywhere so I hurried and just payed with cash. After getting my order, I sat off to the side and continued to search for the card. Still, nothing. I went back to the line that I ordered from and asked if the clerk had found my card by chance. The lady behind me in line said that someone in the bakery department found a card and was asking everyone if it was theirs and was headed to customer service to drop it off. I thanked the lady & zoomed to the customer service desk. While I waited to be helped, another woman was coming to clock in for work and stopped to talk to Grace, my 7 month old daughter, and me. We got to talking about kids and she began to share with me the importance of praying for your children. She told me that she is standing in faith for her adult children that are away from the Lord right now, but that she knows they will come back into relationship with Him. I shared with her that my mom just wrote a book on prayer and handed her a business card to get more information on the book. She seemed very excited, and we said goodbye, shook hands and exchanged smiles. She said that God sent us her way this morning & that she really needed a smile. She told me that her name is Patty & that she works in the floral department and would love for me to visit her sometime. I assured her that I would as I walked away with a smile, thankful that what seemed to be an inconvenience and set back of my time was really a set up for me to be a blessing and blessed in return! I dropped off my husband's breakfast & smoothie, went back to the store for another burrito (they just looked too good to pass up!) and then headed home on my usual route. As I approached the stop light near my home, my heart sank as I saw a number of emergency lights flickering in the distance. When I got closer, I saw that two cars had crashed and two others had gone into the ditch and it didn't look good at all. Fire trucks were everywhere, one of which I captured quickly on my phone as you can see above. As I drove past the scene and headed home, I realized that my inconvenience was even more than a blessing, it was a means of protection. My baby girl & I could have very well been involved in that accident as we were headed home today. Thank you, Jesus, for your hand at work in my life, keeping my daughter and me safe from hurt, harm and danger. Thank you for intervening in my day, even though I thought I was being held up by losing my card. I know that it wasn't just a coincidence. I also thank you for protecting and caring for those that were in the accident. Be with them and give them peace. Allow them to see your hand in the midst of this situation. And bless Patti, Lord. May her children come to know You in a real and powerful way this week. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

Today, allow God to arrange (and rearrange) your schedule. He may be setting you up for a blessing, and protecting you from harm.

Emonne Markland Leave YOUR Beauty Mark

New Mom 101: Lessons I'm Learning Along the Way

As a new mom, I have found myself learning countless life lessons every day. Periodically, I will be posting my experiences as a mother and sharing the lessons that I am learning along my journey of motherhood. Thank you in advance for reading my post today and I hope that it encourages you and blesses you in a special way.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned now that I am a mom, it can be summed up in these  two sentences:

Stretching doesn’t end just because the pregnancy is over and the baby has been born. True stretching, of the whole person: spirit, mind and body, begins in the hours, days, weeks and months to follow the delivery.

As a first time mom, I could not wait to feel my baby move for the first time during my pregnancy. I can remember telling my mom that every nudge, kick and stretch would bring me the utmost joy and happiness. My mom, however, being the sweet and honest person that she is, told me that it would be pleasant in the beginning but may become very uncomfortable as the baby grew and had less room to move around in my womb. Sure enough, those little flutters that I found so sweet turned into karate chops, kicks and punches. What in the world is she doing in there? I asked myself. Is this normal? I feel like I have the karate kid in training in my belly! My OBGYN kindly assured me that everything was fine and normal and that I had nothing to worry about.

During the final days and weeks of my pregnancy, contrary to what I’d been told, the kicks and punches got even more strong and even painful at times! I was so ready to have my baby. Well, on April 25th at 3:47am, after hours of home labor and hospital labor, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. And as you know, especially if you are a mom, giving birth to my daughter required major stretching. Let me repeat, major stretching.

In the hours, weeks and now months to follow my daughter’s birth, my whole person, spirit, mind and body, has been stretched. My body has stretched as it has slowly but surely gone back to my pre-pregnancy weight. My mind has stretched as I continue to learn all that my baby needs and develop wisdom on how to be the wife and mother that my family needs. My spirit has grown as my inner strength and dependence on God has increased and enlarged in this new season of life.

The word of God says in Isaiah 54:2, “Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.”

If you are reading this post today and can relate to what I am saying, I want to encourage you to know that all of the discomfort and stretching that you’ve been experiencing lately is being used to build you into the woman, wife and mother that God has created you to be. He is stretching you in order to make room for you to handle the next level of victory and destiny that is coming to past in your life.

This week, join me in praying the prayer of Jabez, a prayer for God to enlarge your capacity for the days to come. Also, as you go about your day this week, ask God to open your eyes to the needs of those around you so that you can leave your beauty mark on someone’s life by being a blessing to them in a time of need. Have a powerful week and feel free to come back & share what God is doing in your life!

Emonne Markland: Leave YOUR Beauty Mark!

The Prayer of Jabez:

“And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying “Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted what he requested.” (1 Chronicles 4:10 ESV)

Behind the Name

Beauty Marked is a phrase that expresses who we are as women. Every woman on this planet, regardless of the color of her skin, her past mistakes, her body shape or her geographical location, has been beautifully created, fashioned and marked by God. We are beautiful women made in the image of a beautiful God. We are called to do extraordinary things. We are destined for greatness. According to the Oxford American Dictionary, the word "marked" means "to make a visual impression or stain on". I believe that the unique beauty that God has marked every woman with is a visual impression from our Creator and a reflection of who He is. The purpose of this blog is to encourage women to discover their inward beauty and to confidently express it outwardly as we reflect our beautiful God. As a new mom and a fairly new wife of two years, I'm getting a personal crash-course on rediscovering myself amidst the fast-paced life of motherhood. I want to go on a journey with you as I share tips on how to strengthen your inward and outward beauty. This blog is open for moms especially, but is also for women anywhere from the studious college fashionista to the single, career woman that is passionately pursuing her dream. Let's walk together as we journey through the daily joys and challenges of life and learn to unveil the beauty in every situation.