Solitude Staycation

When was the last time you’ve experienced sacred solitude for 24 hours?

I’m talking no real agenda. No task list. Just focused, undistracted time to embrace silence and solitude. If you’re a mom, chances are it’s been a while. Most likely it was some time before your children were born. You love your family, and also realize that some extended time of quiet by yourself could do wonders to clear your mind and restore your soul. That’s exactly where I was at, and recently after taking a solitude staycation, I decided to write a post to help provide inspiration for other women and mothers to invest in this time of sacred solitude.

My Journey with Solitude

In 2020 during quarantine, I as many of us did, faced the crossroad between isolation and solitude. It all came into focus while I was walking through COVID and missing the embrace of my husband and children. I wanted to find a way to make the most of the time and not waste it. One day, I came across a sermon on the power of solitude by DawnChere Wilkerson that really helped to shift my perspective about the value of prioritizing intentional time alone (both routinely during your week and for an extended time) to pray and receive clarity and focus.

In his best-selling book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero says this:

“Dallas Willard called silence and solitude the two most radical disciplines of the Christian life. Solitude is the practice of being absent from people and things to attend to God. Silence is the practice of quieting every inner and outer voice to attend to God.” (page 148)

As a mom, I have quiet time in prayer and alone time after the kids have gone to bed, but solitude was something more intentional and sacred I wanted to build a better habit in doing.

At the beginning of this summer, I started feeling drawn to take some extended time in solitude. I envisioned an overnight stay at a hotel in the city, with time to pause from my normal routine and listen intently to what God wants to say over my life.

I posted a questionnaire on my Instastory and to my surprise, I wasn’t the only one who wished to take a solitude trip but hadn’t done it yet. After speaking with a friend who’s done several solitude trips locally and out of state, she encouraged me to start local. I began looking into some places around town, and decided on a hotel that has beautiful, historic architecture and great brunch. Once my birthday month came around, I knew this would be a great time to go for it! I coined the phrase “solitude staycation” and named this time according to what was on my heart to do.

What is a Solitude Staycation?

A solitude staycation is a time to get away, unplug and embrace the silence of solitude in order to listen to what God has to say. It’s a time to reflect, be refreshed, and be restored. For me, a solitude staycation isn’t about catching up on your favorite shows or movies. (Confession: I tried to watch one of my favorite shows on Magnolia Network but it just didn’t feel appropriate. I needed media silenced just for this 24hr period.) A solitude staycation is about allowing your mind and heart to be clear from external voices and distractions so you can allow the abundance of your heart to come to the surface and faced with the Lord in prayer.

My Experience + Takeaways

The purpose of today’s post is to give you inspiration to embrace solitude and create plans to experience your very own solitude staycation. I’ve included a sample itinerary, Spotify playlist, hotel app to make your process smooth, and some great solitude teaching resources. After reading this post, I hope that you’ll give it a try as well!

My Solitude Staycation Schedule:

8:00am - Started at the gym (went to the sauna…nothing strenuous)

9:00am - Took time to journal and enjoy an iced oat milk pistachio latte at a local coffee shop

10:00am - Spa treatment (Ladies, if you’re in Tulsa, I highly recommend Tulsa Poppi for a massage and lounge pass to experience the color pod and salt room. This was gifted to me by a friend for my birthday, and was a highlight of my day!)

12:00pm - Healthy Lunch & Reading Time at Inheritance Juicery (I opted for a healthy, pure food lunch to fuel my day)

1:15pm - Pedicure (In hindsight, I would have waited on the pedicure for another day to have extended time at lunch to read and rest.)

3:00pm - Check in at The Hotel

I packed light, including lounge clothes, a few books on emotional health and soul care, and of course my bible and notepad. I ended up not reading the books much, and spent more time just listening to the quiet and waiting to hear God speak. I had a few questions that I wrote down and was seeking direction from the Lord on, and took some time to be prayerful in that direction of listening.

6:00pm - Dinner time!

Instead of room service, I opted to order takeout from one of my favorite meals downtown, La Tertulia’s rainbow trout. It’s so good, y’all. The chimichurri and new potatoes…the sopapillas as a side. Sooo good.

It’s not everyday that mama eats dinner in bed, so that was fun! (After eating, I did take my food container to the trash nearby so my room wouldn’t smell like fish and kill the vibe. Haha)

7:00pm -10:00pm - Evening Hours

I brought a face mask to enjoy a DIY facial, and just enjoyed time to rest and listen to my new favorite album, In Full Bloom by Sharyn!

I tried to pull up a show on my iPad from Magnolia network, but after one episode I realized that wasn’t what I needed. So I did some note taking and journaling before going to sleep.

Next Day - Morning Hours

The sunset was so beautiful cascading over the church nearby that I watched through my window. More time to rest and chill and read the Word.

8:30am - Brunch! The hotel I stayed at had a fantastic brunch that my family and I have enjoyed frequenting for years now. As you can see, it didn’t disappoint!

9:30am Exploring the hotel and enjoying time alone with my husband

1:00pm - Checkout!

Tips for planning your Solitude Staycation

Where to stay - Hotel Tips

When it comes to selecting a hotel, do your best to be intentional about selecting the detail of where your room will be located. This was important to me because I wanted to experience ample natural light and be somewhere quiet. I used the Hilton Honors app to check in online, select the best corner room option that was exactly what I’d seen online, and get a digital key for my door. I also called the front desk to make sure I was getting the best view from my room once I got down to two options. That being said, I recommend to call ahead and ask for a room that will have the best view and natural window light that doesn’t face a parking garage or anything.

Also! If you can, request a late checkout and breakfast included. This was a huge blessing to extend my time and not feel rushed in the morning, and my husband was able to meet me at the hotel for brunch and a day date!

What to do

I can almost hear you asking, “Okay, but like, what do you actually do?” Here’s what I'd advise, don’t schedule yourself too much. Take some time to enjoy your favorite things like coffee or a mani/pedi and then once you get to the hotel, plan to really rest and embrace the quiet.

Pray + Listen

Silence the noise of social media and screen time and just sit for a little while. That may seem uncomfortable at first, but it’s important to give your mind time to reset without competing voices. Get comfortable, rest in bed, take a shower, whatever makes you feel refreshed. And then bring out your bible and notepad or a book and listen with an expectation to hear from God.

Rest

As in, lay in the bed. Take a nap. (Novel, I know!) SLEEP! Relieve yourself from the pressure of having to do anything and just be.

What to Listen To: A Spotify Playlist

I curated this playlist based on music that I listened to while I was at the hotel, as well as songs that I have enjoyed in solitude at home recently. (Can I just say that our girl Sharyn from the UK is my new fav?! I absolutely love her sound and vibe mixed with lyrics that celebrate Jesus and a passion for Him. I’m so grateful I came across her single on iTunes. And Taya’s self titled album? Don’t even get me started. Getaway? All Eyes on You?! I can’t even. So many tears. I’m so grateful for music that draws towards peace in His presence.

As you curate your own playlist, think of songs that evoke stillness, alignment with Jesus, peace and reflection on who He is. I’d recommend a mix of worship and LoFi, just to get some space to have your own words come to mind as the music plays.

Solitude Resources:

I understand that not everyone can plan for a 24 hour solitude staycation at this time, and so I wanted to present some resource to enhance your daily times of solitude in whatever capacity you can experience at this time.

ONE MINUTE Pause App

This app by John Eldredge has been a daily resource that I often recommend to help build a routine of prayer, pause and release of your day. The 30 Days to Resilience plan is a great place to start.

Sermon resources

The Power of Solitude by DawnChere Wilkerson

The power of solitude by Charles Stanley (audio)

Cultivating Sacred Solitude podcast episode by John and Lisa Bevere

If you’ve made it this far, giiiiirl you’re a rider. Thanks for hanging with me and reading all these details. I took the time to really beef this post up in hopes that this blog post is a source of encouragement and inspiration to experience your very own solitude staycation.

If you have any questions, or tips to add, let me know in the comments and I’d love to continue the conversation.

Cheering you on, mama. I believe in you, young lady.

Emonne Markland

How to Handle Disappointment

Amidst the outbreak of coronavirus, it seems that cancellations are at an all time high. From major sporting event cancelations and school closings to travel and remote work changes, there have been unprecedented decisions made as a precaution for the health and safety of everyone. Even the hashtag #canceleverything went viral earlier this week. While there’s been a prevailing sense of fear and panic that many have expressed and provided encouragement for, I believe there’s another underlying issue to address as well: disappointment. 

This afternoon, I saw post after post expressing disappointment from unexpected cancellations that led me to reflect and write this post.

What do you do when the thing you’ve been preparing for and looking forward to has been cancelled?

The family vacation you saved up for: cancelled. 

The missions trip you know God called you to go on: cancelled. 

The major work event you’ve been planning for months and even YEARS: cancelled. 

The tournament you’ve practiced and prepared your whole life for: cancelled. 

Disappointment can be a silent thief of your joy and peace. The unexpected change of plans can feel like an unexpected blow to the heart. 

I remember raising money for a missions trip back in 2007, only to find out I had to cancel my trip due to the unexpected illness of lung cancer. As I mailed all my donors to notify them of my cancellation and watched my friends missions pictures popping up on Facebook, I was discouraged and disappointed. Spending that summer at home recovering from major surgery was not what I had in mind.
But little did I know, that would be the greatest summer of turnaround in my life. I wasn’t on the mission field as I’d hoped, but I grew a lot in my faith and was in position for an unexpected blessing. (If you want more details, check this YouTube video of my story, Real Love) 

Fast forward to the last few months, disappointment struck again. Our week-long trip to visit family in Texas for Christmas break that we’d looked forward to for months: cancelled due to the flu. My & Grace’s first mother daughter trip to Michigan for my grandma’s 90th birthday: cancelled due to coronavirus precautions. I share these moments not to be a downer, but to say that I understand firsthand the unique challenge of disappointment and wanted to share some words of encouragement that have helped me along the way. 

Here are 4 keys to handling disappointment:

1. Grieve what you had in mind 

Unrealized expectation can be painful, and it’s important to grieve the loss of what you had in mind. Don’t suppress or seek to escape your emotions. Allow yourself to feel, take it to God, confess your hurts to a trusted friend or leader, and lay it down. This isn’t the outcome you were expecting, but it’s only the end if you allow it to be. 

2. Realize that preparation is never wasted time 

All the time, prayer and preparation you put in is not wasted! You’ve grown and developed in so many ways that you wouldn’t have otherwise. This will make your next trip or your next experience even better because you’ve exercised your muscle along the way. It’s worth saying again: Preparation is never wasted time. 

3. Don’t lose hope 

Sure, this moment makes everything in you want to not even try again. But don’t lose hopeful expectation. Believe that something good is coming, even better than the thing you were looking forward to. “When hope’s dream seems to drag on and on, the delay can be depressing. But when at last your dream comes true, life’s sweetness will satisfy your soul.” Proverbs 13:12

4. Find purpose & opportunity in the redirection 

So, you’re not where you hoped to be right now. But what is the opportunity available now that you’re here? Who can you reach where you are? What can you do to make a difference? Remain open to God’s will exactly where you are and ask Him to order your steps to be a blessing to someone. There may be people here who need your encouragement and wouldn’t have received it if you were where you’d hoped to be. “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” (Prov.‬ ‭19:21‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

I hope that this post provides encouragement today for those experiencing disappointment in this season of uncertainty and change. Use wisdom, stay informed and be encouraged. In the midst of every unexpected challenge, is a unique opportunity. 

And while we’re at it, let’s tell fear and discouragement: you’re cancelled.

Emonne Markland

Seasons / Change

Life is full of seasons. Summer just so happens to be my favorite. While several of my friends and family members prefer fall‘s cooler weather, I’m here for the heat. ☀️😍 Give me pool parties, iced lattes, sandals and shorts, white tees and high-waist jeans, sunglasses and orange lipstick. I bask in it all with a bright smile on my face.

But just like we all know, seasons will always inevitably change. Summer heat turns into a cool, fall breeze. Fall winds blow into Winter snowflakes and before you know it, Spring is in the air with its luscious blooms that prepare the way for Summer all over again. 

Seasons of our lives are no different. And that was one of the best pieces of advice Stephan and I received during our premarital counseling. Life (college, singleness, marriage, motherhood, entrepreneurship, etc.) is made up of seasons. And seasons always change. Don’t get stuck in one season and let discouragement cause you to doubt that things will never change. Life ALWAYS changes.

I remember the last time I saw my grandfather before he passed away and I asked him what was the one thing he loved most about life. His answer arrested my heart, “Change.” How profound and true. I’ve pondered on this ever since.

I don’t know what season you’re in right now, but I want to encourage you that it will change. If it’s really great right now and you’re loving the Summer sun of life, make memories and write down a note to your winter season so you can hold onto that joy. If it’s wintery cold in your relationships, workplace, business or even within your heart, look for the beauty in where you are and expect a brighter tomorrow.

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT

“While the earth remains,

Seedtime and harvest,

Cold and heat,

Winter and summer,

And day and night

Shall not cease.”

GENESIS 8:22 AMP

Don’t challenge the change. Embrace the newness to come.  

Emonne

Don't Jump

As sweat drips from his brow, a man peers over the edge of a bridge to the speeding cars below. Wind blows through his hair as his heart beats fast and hard, feeling as if it will beat clear through his shirt. Thoughts of what happened swarm through his mind as the weight of his mistake holds him hostage, frozen in time. I can't take this anymore. I've had enough. I failed and there's no turning back.

He looks to his right and his left, wipes his brow and takes a deep breath of release before he takes his fateful plunge. When all of a sudden...

"DON'T JUMP!!!"

The loud, stern cry of a faraway bystander holds him back. The bystander walks calmly and cautiously in his direction with their hands in the air, reasoning with him to come down and realize that jumping won't solve his problem...

 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord:  “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.”  So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me.  He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel (Jeremiah 18:1-6 NIV).

Many of us have been on the Potter's wheel lately. Tossing and turning. Swirling and stretching. Painfully growing through the discomfort and heat of the process. I know it's been tough. The potter's wheel isn't glamorous. It isn't pretty. It's messy and quite confusing. It takes everything in you to stay the course and allow God to shape you and mold you through the trials of life, many of which make no sense to your logical thinking and reasoning. And yet, if we jump and abort the process, we will be left as an unfinished lump of clay, always wondering what could have and would have happened if only we'd stayed the course.

As someone who is right there with you, let me encourage you today. Before you make a drastic move and try to fix the circumstance yourself in an attempt to assist God (because of course, the God who runs the universe needs our help in running our lives), don't jump. Don't jump off the Potter's wheel. God is working in you something far greater and bigger than what your mind can even conceive right now. If you want to be used by Him in a great way, you've got to submit to the process. Looking back over your life, I'm sure that you can recall a time of transition and growth where you thought there was no way you would make it through. And yet, as you stayed the course and allowed the Potter to have His way, you came out of that situation as a better person and are thankful you went through it. The same thing applies to now. God is molding us, shaping us, and preparing us for His work through us. He is forming us into vessels of honor. And in the end, He will be glorified in our lives, sanctified and useful for Him.

But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor.  Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work (2 Timothy 2:20-21 NIV).

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

Emonne Markland

Leave Your Beauty Mark

P.S. For more posts on this topic, check out Vessels and my mom's latest post, Vessels of Honor where she shares 5 keys to becoming a vessel of honor.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: The Church

The local church is one of the greatest blessings to the world today. The love and giving that God has called us to is a precious gift and great responsibility. We have been given the gift of grace and the responsibility to be His hands and feet in the earth. Every Sunday, and throughout the week, I look forward to gathering together with my brothers and sisters in praise & worship to God. I pray that one day I can join together with churches around the world in this way. Today, I'm thankful for my pastors & leaders that selflessly shepherd the congregations of the world and teach us God's word, and the gift of the family of God.

There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually. (1 Corinthians 12:4-6, 12, 27 NKJV)

So, what are you thankful for today? Did you join in worship with your family today? Leave a comment below and join me in thanking God for His goodness today!

Emonne Markland Leave Your Beauty Mark

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Grace

{Grace: unmerited favor; blessing.}

This morning, I woke up to a delicate kiss from sweet little lips & a soft "mmmmmmwahhh." That's my Grace. The first moment I saw her I was captivated. She was honestly the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. It's a joy to watch her grow and freely express herself without a care in the world. Everywhere we go she makes a friend, gives a hug and tries to share something with others. She has brought so much joy to our family and I'm so thankful for the one, the only, Amazing Grace.

So, what are you thankful for tonight? Leave a comment of thanksgiving below!

Emonne Markland Leave Your Beauty Mark

FIVE

Good evening, ladies. I couldn't pass up this day without sharing with you how meaningful this date is to me. Today is the 5 year anniversary of my surgery. I cannot even explain how thankful I am to be alive. God gave me a second chance on life and today I remember His faithfulness to see me through the darkest day of my life. Not only did I survive cancer, but I was able to get married, reproduce and give birth to my daughter Grace. A few weeks ago, I had an extensive physical exam and received a great report from my doctor from all the test results. "Thank you" just can't seem to express all of my gratitude. I pray that my life will bring Him glory and that when it is my time to go, I will have emptied out all that He's placed inside of me, leaving my beauty mark on the world.

Emonne Markland Leave Your Beauty Mark

Sealed

The door that never opened. The job offer that fell through. The relationship that you've been forcing to work even though it's not. The house deal that flopped. Whatever the situation may be in your life. Maybe, just maybe, God has it sealed for your protection. Don't force it open. You may find yourself opening a can of worms.

Friends, I really believe this to be true. So many doors have closed in my face over the years, some even opened, allowed me in, and then pushed me back out! I used to get mad, disappointed and even a little depressed a few times. Now, I know that I don't even have to worry about it. If something doesn't work out my way, I trust that God has something even better on the way.

This year, we are all expecting great things and I believe that great things are coming! That being said, we must keep in mind that things may happen much differently than we expect them to. You may be focusing on and preparing for door A and God's will for you in 2012 may be door Y. Trust Him no matter what. He's in control. And His plan is always better than ours. Be blessed and have a joy-filled weekend.

Emonne Markland Leave YOUR Beauty Mark

Victorious

If you're reading this post right now, you have a testimony. God has brought you through the storms of life time and time again. He was with you on the operating table. He was with you at the isle. He was with you in the wilderness. He was with you at the highest mountain. And in all that you've been through, God wants you to know that HE is the one that brought you to where you are today and that all of the things that you've been through have built the tools and weapons that you need to withstand through the trials and tests of life. When the enemy comes to accuse you and condemn you, bringing up your past and telling you that God is not going to come through for you this time, you can stretch back your faith to all of the times that God WAS there and when He DID bring you through. You can stand strong with your head held high, look your accuser square in the face and say, "There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! I am more than a conqueror through Christ. NO WEAPON formed against me shall prosper!" This week, stand strong in your testimony. Know that you are redeemed through the Blood of Jesus. That you are justified, "just-as-if-I'd" never done it. Don't allow the enemy to keep beating you up and oppressing you with your circumstances, past mistakes & failures. Enough is enough! The enemy is under your feet! Speak the Word and hold fast to your freedom in Christ! And remember this: Your greatest test gave birth to your greatest testimony. You. Have. The. Victory.