Amidst the outbreak of coronavirus, it seems that cancellations are at an all time high. From major sporting event cancelations and school closings to travel and remote work changes, there have been unprecedented decisions made as a precaution for the health and safety of everyone. Even the hashtag #canceleverything went viral earlier this week. While there’s been a prevailing sense of fear and panic that many have expressed and provided encouragement for, I believe there’s another underlying issue to address as well: disappointment.
This afternoon, I saw post after post expressing disappointment from unexpected cancellations that led me to reflect and write this post.
What do you do when the thing you’ve been preparing for and looking forward to has been cancelled?
The family vacation you saved up for: cancelled.
The missions trip you know God called you to go on: cancelled.
The major work event you’ve been planning for months and even YEARS: cancelled.
The tournament you’ve practiced and prepared your whole life for: cancelled.
Disappointment can be a silent thief of your joy and peace. The unexpected change of plans can feel like an unexpected blow to the heart.
I remember raising money for a missions trip back in 2007, only to find out I had to cancel my trip due to the unexpected illness of lung cancer. As I mailed all my donors to notify them of my cancellation and watched my friends missions pictures popping up on Facebook, I was discouraged and disappointed. Spending that summer at home recovering from major surgery was not what I had in mind.
But little did I know, that would be the greatest summer of turnaround in my life. I wasn’t on the mission field as I’d hoped, but I grew a lot in my faith and was in position for an unexpected blessing. (If you want more details, check this YouTube video of my story, Real Love)
Fast forward to the last few months, disappointment struck again. Our week-long trip to visit family in Texas for Christmas break that we’d looked forward to for months: cancelled due to the flu. My & Grace’s first mother daughter trip to Michigan for my grandma’s 90th birthday: cancelled due to coronavirus precautions. I share these moments not to be a downer, but to say that I understand firsthand the unique challenge of disappointment and wanted to share some words of encouragement that have helped me along the way.
Here are 4 keys to handling disappointment:
1. Grieve what you had in mind
Unrealized expectation can be painful, and it’s important to grieve the loss of what you had in mind. Don’t suppress or seek to escape your emotions. Allow yourself to feel, take it to God, confess your hurts to a trusted friend or leader, and lay it down. This isn’t the outcome you were expecting, but it’s only the end if you allow it to be.
2. Realize that preparation is never wasted time
All the time, prayer and preparation you put in is not wasted! You’ve grown and developed in so many ways that you wouldn’t have otherwise. This will make your next trip or your next experience even better because you’ve exercised your muscle along the way. It’s worth saying again: Preparation is never wasted time.
3. Don’t lose hope
Sure, this moment makes everything in you want to not even try again. But don’t lose hopeful expectation. Believe that something good is coming, even better than the thing you were looking forward to. “When hope’s dream seems to drag on and on, the delay can be depressing. But when at last your dream comes true, life’s sweetness will satisfy your soul.” Proverbs 13:12
4. Find purpose & opportunity in the redirection
So, you’re not where you hoped to be right now. But what is the opportunity available now that you’re here? Who can you reach where you are? What can you do to make a difference? Remain open to God’s will exactly where you are and ask Him to order your steps to be a blessing to someone. There may be people here who need your encouragement and wouldn’t have received it if you were where you’d hoped to be. “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” (Prov. 19:21 NLT)
I hope that this post provides encouragement today for those experiencing disappointment in this season of uncertainty and change. Use wisdom, stay informed and be encouraged. In the midst of every unexpected challenge, is a unique opportunity.
And while we’re at it, let’s tell fear and discouragement: you’re cancelled.
Emonne Markland